Owned

Got killed at omaha hi/lo last night. Lost 3 $40 buyins and 1 $100 buy in. Ouch. Lost a $20 180 sng and a $30 single table sng. All in all, it was a very unfortunate night. On the bright side it was fun playing with SirF as we got seated at the same table in two MTT's. The first one was a 500 FPP (PokerStars) freeroll for seats into the 700k guranteed tourney. There were about 160 entrants and only top 4 places win a seat worth a $500+30 buy in. After a while Sir got moved to my table. We were both pretty short on chips. He pushes all in preflop with KT off. I call with A3 off. It's heads up. He hits his K on the flop. I'm in big trouble. But what comes on the river? The A baby! I couldn't help but laugh my ass off when that happened. We were on the microphone too so I kinda laughed in his face. Sorry Sir. It was hilarious though, lol. I busted soon after that in 20th place.

We then decided to play a $20 180 together. I got moved to his table soon after first break if I remember right. We didn't get to play one hand together because SirF picked up AK sooted and got it all in against another guy before I got dealt a hand. I can't remember what the other guy had but Sir lost and was out.

Played in Dr. Pauly's tournament today. I finished 50th out of 51 entrants. I forgot I was playing against a field of decent to great players. I tried to push a guy off a hand and lost half my stack early. It would've worked in the 180 sng on Stars dammit, lol. I ended up busting out with an up and down straight draw and flush draw on the turn. I didn't improve on river and he beat me with pocket fives, yikes. No improvement for his hand. I played the hand badly though, I shoulda pushed on the flop over the top of his small raise. I had a short stack so I should've committed all my chips then and there and gave myself a better chance to win the pot.

I've got some rebuilding to do. What to play, what to play. O8 is acting like a bitch so I'm going back to the warm nurturing bosom of hold em. I hope she puts out tonight.

Quick Update

Didn't play cards last night. I played on Monday night though. I was doing well at first. Had over $300 at a $50 NLHE 6max table. Then I lost it all. Main hand that fucked me was pocket 33's. Nasty ass crabs. There was a five dollar raise preflop. I decided to gamble a little so I called and saw a flop. We are heads up now. I hit my set, sweet. He raises pot. I reraise all in, he calls with TT. Dildo Fucknutz promptly hits his two outer on the river. That brought my stack down to about $120. I never regained composure after that and eventually lost the rest.

Some would say that I can't complain because I called a rather large preflop bet with way the worst of it. I disagree. The whole point of my call was to hit a set, and if I didn't I'm done with the hand. That's one of the advantages of having a huge stack at a cash game. You can gamble more. You make up for the potential gambling losses by winning a bunch of small pots. You win the small pots by bullying. Doyle Brunson talks about it in SuperSystem. It's a fun style but you have to be willing to fold post flop when necessary. There was some moron at the table talking shit too. He was losing, yet talking shit. He never once had more money than I. That didn't help my tilt. I hate morons that talk shit. Especially when they suck balls at poker.

I played some 08 with SirFWALGMan as well. We are both newbies to 08. He seems to really be enjoying that game now. That feeling is aided by the fact that he's been winning the whole time. I can't wait for "my nut boat got sucked out on by quads" posts that are sure to come in the future.

My Chiefs beat Houston's ass on Sunday. That was sweet. Larry Johnson is looking like a badass more and more each week. He had over 200 yards rushing and 2 TD's. He broke the Chief's record for most yards rushing in one game all time. It helps that Houston has the worst rushing defense in the league. Trent Green finally had a good game as well. Other than the fact that he almost got picked off three times that is. He hasn't been the same this year. Not sure if it's age/decline in ability (he's 35 yrs old) or the personal things in his life (his father recently passed). Hopefully he's out of the slump and we win next week. Our schedule is fuckin brutal throughout the rest of the year. Here's the list of asses we need to kick:

Sun 11/27
New England
1:00 pm

Sun 12/4
Denver
4:15 pm

Sun 12/11
at Dallas
4:15 pm

Sat 12/17
at NY Giants
5:00 pm

Sat 12/24
San Diego
1:00 pm

Sun 1/1
Cincinnati
1:00 pm

Can you say ouch? That reminds me. There's football on tomorrow!! I love Thanksgiving. Gotta get my fantasy team ready. Go read veneno. GL at the tables.

Why, oh why must my balls get kicked this way?

Played some $20 180 SNG's tonight. Busted out of three. Decided to play a fourth one. I got second. $720 score. I should be happy right? I don't mean to bitch, I am happy about my score. But I was destined for first. I should wear a cup next time I play one of these....

PokerStars Game #3089619339: Tournament #15266497, Hold'em No Limit - Level XV(2000/4000) - 2005/11/18 - 04:33:41 (ET)Table '15266497 12'
Seat #7 is the button
Seat 4: bxb13 (169306 in chips)
Seat 7: Gordogg (100694 in chips)
bxb13: posts the ante 200
Gordogg: posts the ante 200
Gordogg: posts small blind 2000
bxb13: posts big blind 4000
*** HOLE CARDS ***Dealt to Gordogg [Ad As]
Gordogg: calls 2000bxb13: checks
*** FLOP *** [3d 7d 6c]
bxb13: checks
Gordogg: bets 8000
bxb13: raises 108000 to 116000
Gordogg: calls 88494 and is all-in
*** TURN *** [3d 7d 6c] [6s]
*** RIVER *** [3d 7d 6c 6s] [3s]*** SHOW DOWN ***
bxb13: shows [8c 3h] (a full house, Threes full of Sixes)
Gordogg: shows [Ad As] (two pair, Aces and Sixes)
yokobus [observer] said, "omg"
bxb13 collected 201388 from pot
*** SUMMARY ***Total pot 201388 Rake 0 Board [3d 7d 6c 6s 3s]
Seat 4: bxb13 (big blind) showed [8c 3h] and won (201388) with a full house,Threes full of Sixes
Seat 7: Gordogg (button) (small blind) showed [Ad As] and lost with two pair,Aces and Sixes

So, no first for me yet. I will get my fuckin revenge!

Checking In

Two tabled .50/1 LHE 6-max on Empire today. Chipped away some raked hands for my bonus. Lost about $25 during the process, shitty. The good news is I have only 160 more raked hands to go. PokerStars is having a 20% reload bonus up to $120 through 11/27. I will take advantage of that as soon as I cash out from Empire. I'm feeling the itch to do another $20 180 SNG too. Maybe tonight after little man goes to bed.

I want to wish SirF a great trip to Foxwoods. Hope you slay the fish and drink it up with Dr. Pauly.

That's it for now.....

On the Road Again

It's 8:30 a. m. I'll be leaving in 30 minutes to pick up my son from his mother's place. He's two years old and I love him to death. I have him one week on, one week off. It seems to be working well. It's about a 1hr 40min drive each way. Not bad at all.

I'm excited I get to stop at any fast food restaurant I want. The small things in life make this stoner happy. All we have around where I live is McDonalds, DQ, and Subway. No Burger King, Wendy's, Taco Bell, etc....

I fuckin love Taco Bell. It's cheap, tastes good, and open late. A stoners paradise. But, there is no Taco Bell in this hillbilly farm town I'm in. For the amount of mexicans that live around here I'm damn surprised there isn't a Taco Bell. I was pissed about that, but wait. There is a fast food joint called Taco Time. Now, what is this I thought to myself. I've never heard of this place before. For there is no Taco Time in Alaska. Have I been missing something all these years? Maybe they are BETTER than Taco Bell! I'm filled with anticipation as I order from their menu. I choose the three crunchy tacos for $2 deal, muy bueno. I park the car and take my first bite. I try to taste the bite. I can't. I know I have food in my mouth because I'm chewing. Weird. I put some taco sauce on my taco and take another bite. Well, I taste taco sauce but nothing else. WTF? Is this taco meat made of tofu? Is the taco shell made of plain rice cakes? No, they just suck balls. Horrible food. I guess they didn't think it was a good idea to season their taco meat, wtf? Their vegetables hardly have a taste to them as well. It's weird. I've never experienced such crappy fuckin fast food.

I was zooted one day and decided to try them again. I'm a second chance kind of guy. Plus, there aren't many choices in Cletus the Slackjawed Yokel, Oregon. Last time, I just got a bad batch of tacos I tell myself as I pull up to the drive thru. I peruse their menu for the biggest most expensive burrito they have. It has to taste good if it's the most expensive thing on the menu right? I found what I was looking for. It was a chicken ranch big ass burrito thing. It cost over 4 bucks. For one burrito. I could eat like a fuckin king for $4 at Taco Bell. Anyways, I order the can't-miss burrito. I park and take my first bite. Have you ever had to eat or drink something that tastes shitty so you pinch your nose while you consume it to mask the taste? That's what eating this burrito was like. But I wasn't pinching my nose. It looked so damn good. Full of chicken, tomatoes, rice, bacon, etc... I could hardly taste the motherfucker though!! I didn't have a cold or stuffy nose. I wasn't shitfaced drunk. It was the sorry ass food. It wasn't bad tasting, it just didn't have a fuckin taste at all!! As soon as I score big in a MTT, I'm going to buy a Taco Bell franchise to force Taco Time's pathetic ass out of this town.

Kiss my ass Taco Time.

Final Table

Played in a $20 180 SNG on Stars yesterday. Made the final table again. Got 7th again. I won some money so I hate to bitch BUT I would like to get over the hump and take one of these bastards down! I'm telling you all should give these things a shot if you haven't yet. Soft players galore.

My fuckin Chiefs lost today. They couldn't even score a TD. 14-3 losers to the Bills. The freakin BILLS! Trent Green decided to throw three interceptions and zero TD's. Of course he was my starting QB in my Fantasy League this week because my normal starter Carson Palmer is on a bye. Even though Trent Green cornholed me, I have a good chance to win my game this week. I had Roy Williams as one of my starting recievers. What a monster game he had. 117 yds and 3 TD's. I had Joey Galloway starting as well. 137 yds and 1 TD. Rod Smith was my third and final WR. He had 50yds 1 TD, not bad. I am especially proud of my waiver wire pick up of Samoken Gado (not sure if that's his first name, close though). He's the RB for Green Bay. As I've mentioned before, I'm hurting bad for running backs on my team so I scramble every week and see what I can find. All Gado did was rush for 100yds and score 3 TD's! Can you say fuck yeah! The dude I'm against this week has Drew Bledsoe and Julius Jones on his team. As long as Bledsoe doesn't have a great game Monday night against the Eagles, I should win this week.

I was born and raised in Fairbanks, Alaska. I moved to Oregon last May. My buddy Jason is flying from Fairbanks, AK to Portland November 30th. He'll be in town for a few days. Portland is only an hour and a half away from where I live. (One difference between Alaska and Oregon that is fuckin sweet is actually getting places without having to drive for hours on end.) Can you say, partayyyy! He has never played live casino poker. I'm going to take him to Spirit Mountain Casino where we will take all the chip stacks in cold calculating style :) I haven't been there yet. It's much bigger than the local casino I frequent. Well, I don't really frequent the local casino. I've only been there four times in six months. The name is Chinook Winds Casino. Their poker room consists of four tables in the corner by the snack bar with a neon sign hanging over head that says "Poker". Pretty impressive eh? They have a wide variety of games, 3/6 Limit HE or 1/2 NLHE. I've seen the 1/2 NL game going two out of the four times I've been there. The other times it was just 3/6. Needless to say, it sucks balls. I'm excited about checking out a hopefully bigger card room with more games available.

I'm outta hither. Gonna play some cards or Tiger Woods 06.

Sweet

I just figured out why my title wasn't available. This make BigChief happy now. Almost as happy as a goodnight peace puff.

BigChief is updating briefly....

I can't name my posts anymore for some reason. That make BigChief angry!

Currently clearing a bonus at Empire poker. 100% deposit match up to $100, bonus code PLAYNOV. It's a 10x bonus meaning the raked hands required to clear it are 10x the bonus dollar amount. So that means I have 1k raked hands to slog through. Is it possible you ask? Does howdy doody have wooden balls? No problem. I racked up a little over 400 raked hands today. 2.5 hours three tabling .50/$1 limit hold em. I made $140 in the process as well. Chinga chinga chinga. One of my favorite hands was me rivering quad 2's to beat a full house for a 30BB pot. One outer baby, yeahh!!! It nice to do the junk kicking every once in a while.

I tried BlackJack at Titan poker the other day. Pissed away $50 in about 5 mins. It rather sucked my balls. Maybe they'll kick me some money back like they did to SirFwalgman. I am in Titan's 1k depositor freeroll tomorrow, but don't think I'll be able to make it. Ah well, Titan isn't my favorite site anyways. There may be fish there, but their software annoys the fuck out of me.

BigChief is sleepy. Too many puffs from the peace pipeum.

Been sick the last few days. Nasty cold. Not feeling like typing much right now, must get better first.

I did promise poker content in this post didn't I? Played a $20 180 SNG on Stars last night and scored 7th. I was the short stack in the BB. Blinds are 1k/2k and I have 18k. It was folded around to the biggish stacked button who raised it up 3x the BB. I felt he could make this raise with a wide range of hands and I was getting to the point where I had to make a move so I pushed my stack in with pocket eights. He calls with KJ sooted and spikes a K on the flop. No improvement for me and out 7th for $124. I was disappointed. I really want to score first in one of these things. I've made the final table twice, 2nd place and 7th place last night. If you have money on Stars and like MTT's that don't take 5+ hours you should give these 180 SNG's a shot. It takes about 3 hours to get to the final table. Decent payouts for top three places.

I'm in a fantasy football league on Yahoo with some members of www.talkingpoker.com, the best poker forum on the net. Lost my fantasy football game this week. My record is 4-5 for the year now, boooo. I need a good running back. I had Deuce McAllister, he's injured for the rest of the year now. I have Cadillac Williams, but he's been injured and hasn't done shit since he came back the last two games. So my best RB is Curtis Martin right now. Ughhh. I need SirFWALGMan to trade me a running back, aka Edgerrin James.

Post Numero Uno

Welcome to my blog, The Poker Puffessor. I've been reading poker blogs since March 2004. I've decided to hop on the bandwagon and create a blog for myself after some encouragement from other bloggers (really, I just want to play in the PokerStars blogger tourney next year). A few things worth mentioning:

1) I will blog about poker and sports related subjects. That doesn't mean I won't blog about other things as well, but these two subjects are my primary focus.

2) I'm not a writer by any means. I can't even remember the last thing I've voluntarily written. It's going to be interesting to see how this turns out.

3) I've played poker seriously since March 2004. It's not a coincidence that that's when I started reading poker blogs as well. I've had moderate success lately, so I feel I'm consistently getting better at poker. Or, maybe I suck and get lucky once in a while.

4) I love to smoke herb. As if you couldn't tell by my name and the name of this blog. I smoke while playing almost always. There are benefits to smoking the sweet leaf while playing, will post about that later. There are some drawbacks as well. Needless to say, 7-card stud is not my strongest game.

5) I love to drink beer. Now, unlike herb, beer is pretty much baaaad while playing. For me anyways. I play better when not drinking. The simple solution to that problem is never drink and play cards. Do I listen? Hell no.

That's it for now. There will be poker content in my next post, thanks for stopping by.