On the Road Again

It's 8:30 a. m. I'll be leaving in 30 minutes to pick up my son from his mother's place. He's two years old and I love him to death. I have him one week on, one week off. It seems to be working well. It's about a 1hr 40min drive each way. Not bad at all.

I'm excited I get to stop at any fast food restaurant I want. The small things in life make this stoner happy. All we have around where I live is McDonalds, DQ, and Subway. No Burger King, Wendy's, Taco Bell, etc....

I fuckin love Taco Bell. It's cheap, tastes good, and open late. A stoners paradise. But, there is no Taco Bell in this hillbilly farm town I'm in. For the amount of mexicans that live around here I'm damn surprised there isn't a Taco Bell. I was pissed about that, but wait. There is a fast food joint called Taco Time. Now, what is this I thought to myself. I've never heard of this place before. For there is no Taco Time in Alaska. Have I been missing something all these years? Maybe they are BETTER than Taco Bell! I'm filled with anticipation as I order from their menu. I choose the three crunchy tacos for $2 deal, muy bueno. I park the car and take my first bite. I try to taste the bite. I can't. I know I have food in my mouth because I'm chewing. Weird. I put some taco sauce on my taco and take another bite. Well, I taste taco sauce but nothing else. WTF? Is this taco meat made of tofu? Is the taco shell made of plain rice cakes? No, they just suck balls. Horrible food. I guess they didn't think it was a good idea to season their taco meat, wtf? Their vegetables hardly have a taste to them as well. It's weird. I've never experienced such crappy fuckin fast food.

I was zooted one day and decided to try them again. I'm a second chance kind of guy. Plus, there aren't many choices in Cletus the Slackjawed Yokel, Oregon. Last time, I just got a bad batch of tacos I tell myself as I pull up to the drive thru. I peruse their menu for the biggest most expensive burrito they have. It has to taste good if it's the most expensive thing on the menu right? I found what I was looking for. It was a chicken ranch big ass burrito thing. It cost over 4 bucks. For one burrito. I could eat like a fuckin king for $4 at Taco Bell. Anyways, I order the can't-miss burrito. I park and take my first bite. Have you ever had to eat or drink something that tastes shitty so you pinch your nose while you consume it to mask the taste? That's what eating this burrito was like. But I wasn't pinching my nose. It looked so damn good. Full of chicken, tomatoes, rice, bacon, etc... I could hardly taste the motherfucker though!! I didn't have a cold or stuffy nose. I wasn't shitfaced drunk. It was the sorry ass food. It wasn't bad tasting, it just didn't have a fuckin taste at all!! As soon as I score big in a MTT, I'm going to buy a Taco Bell franchise to force Taco Time's pathetic ass out of this town.

Kiss my ass Taco Time.