Would you like tilt with that?

Went on some bad bankroll management/tilt and lost my Stars roll the other day. After playing in a $10 league tourney for Talking Poker, and busting 9th when I flopped trip T's on a KTT flop, pushed all in and got called by K9 who proceeded to catch his backdoor flush draw, I decided to play a $10 rebuy MTT. I only had $150 in my roll, but wanted to play an MTT and that was the only one starting soon. When playing rebuys, you have to multiply the buy in by at least 3 to account for the initial rebuy and the add-on. Unless you kick some major ass early, you will be spending at least 3x the buy in. Knowing this, and knowing I didn't have the roll to play that high, I registered anyways. I ended up rebuying like a motherfucker. I spent $70 or $80. I didn't cash. I came damn close, 45th places paid, I busted 60 something. AQsooted all in pre vs TT. Flop was AJT of course. Turn A. River blank. Bring on the tilt! I don't even remember how I lost the rest. I know I played at least 4 $10 sng's and couldn't cash, like a weak ass donkey. So that left me with $110 on Party and pocket change on a couple other sites. I decided to call it a night and not donk away my Party roll. It has all worked out since then. I cashed out $50 last night and put in on Stars. I built that up to $115. Only have $30 on Party now but overall I made about $40 so I'm happy with that. I'm results oriented, what can I say.

Denver got their ass beat by Pittsburgh. Woohooo. Seattle and Carolina is on right now. Seattle will take it down and we'll have a Pittsburgh vs Seattle superblow..errr..bowl.

Kind of a lame post, but this is what happens when I try to post more often. I suck balls at writing, unless I want to spend actual time and effort on a post. That's not my bag baby. Writing isn't really a passion for me. But, practice makes perfect so I should only be getting better the more I post. We shall see....

Poker, Playoffs, and PS2

I'm really trying to update more often. I know there are thousands of readers on the edge of their seat obsessively checking my blog to see if I have updated. Sorry to disappoint.

Bankroll is still in decent shape. I did bad things last night but thankfully it worked out. I lost $50 playing 1/2 limit hold em. I shouldn't have been playing in the first place with a $200 roll on Stars but I yearn to play for some decent money now and then. Staying within your limits gets downright borrrrring. So I lost that $50 at 1/2 and I can't even remember how I lost the rest but my roll shrinks down to $85 on Stars. I thought it would be fun to put it all on a 2/4 limit table. This thinking is probably somewhat related to the fact I'm on my ninth 16oz Busch tallboy and baked out of my mind. On tilt a little as well. What a rollercoaster that game was. I was up to $240 at one point and down to $25 at my worst. I am lucky to leave the table with $226 bones after all is said and done. I gotta stop that shit, lol.

Party Poker was another story. Well, same story different results. I started with $170, played a $20 MTT with Jester J double O double SE. We swapped 20 percent. We both busted before first break. My best hand was 77. No AK, AQ, AJ etc.. Cold ass deck. Jester had the same problem. Feeling "soo unsateesfied" like Teddy KGB I decide to play some SNG's. I wanted to win decent money so I played two $30's. I didn't cash in either so I gave up, leaving my Party roll at $88.

Football is going to be good this weekend. My picks are Pittsburgh and Seattle. I'm picking Pittsburgh because I fucking hate Denver. I'm a Chiefs fan, Denver can bite me. I like Jerome "the Bus" Bettis as well. I enjoy watching big beefcake runners like Bettis hit a hole and then plow over a helpless cornerback or two. Brings back memories of Christian Okoye. Remember that game Tecmo Bowl on Nintendo? Christian Okoye was unfucking tacklable the first offensive series of the game. Guys would bounce off him like rubber, it was hilarious. Eventually he got tired and couldn't run over guys but it was fun while it lasted. For those of you who don't know who Okoye is, he had a few good years in the late 80's early 90's with the Chiefs. His nickname was the Nigerian Nightmare. I don't think he had played any football when the Chiefs signed him. If he did, it wasn't much. It didn't matter though because he was built like Michael Clarke Duncan. He retired early, don't remember if it was injury related or he was tired of football. I seen him not long ago and he's still effin ripped. He's peddling some kind of body supplement health workout program something or other.

Seattle will beat Carolina because they deserve to win. It would be no fuckin fair if the Panthers make the Super Bowl again. They've been in the league for only ten years and if they make the big one twice already, that would make the Chiefs, Seahawks, and many other teams look very bad. We can't have that. Plus my buddy is a diehard Seahawks fan so since the Hawks aren't in the Chiefs division anymore, I can root for them. Has anyone seen the running back the Panthers are starting this week? His name is Keith Goings. He looks like a pretty good runner. One question though. Is this guy white? When I saw him play last week I coulda swore he was white. Then I saw him close up without his helmet on today and I can't tell if he's white or not. He might be a mixture. He looks so close to being white, but there's just something about his look that suggests he might not be. I can't fuckin tell. It doesn't really matter other than the fact that if he is white, I'm going to be rooting for him. Who is the last white running back you've seen play. I"m talking running back, not full back, so Alstott doesn't count. If that's not hard enough to remember, who's the last white running back you remember that was actually good? John Riggins is the only name that comes to mind. He might've been a fullback too, not sure. So go whiteboy go. Gotta support my fellow minorities.

I bought a new game for my Playstation 2 about a week ago. Yes, I like video games. Yes, I'm 27 years old. No, I don't think this will get me laid anytime soon, but they are fun. Especially while copping a buzz. The game I bought is "God of War". It is a badass game. This is the first game I've played with actual nakedness in it. It shows big naked tits and you can screw these chicks too. It doesn't show you pounding away, but you hear her moaning and a vase falls off the nightstand when she uhh, orgasms I guess. There is a drawback to getting new, badass games. I solve them too quickly. I play the shit out of it, beat it, then I'm bored with it. I'm not one of those gamers that likes to solve a game twice. It isn't fun to me after the first time. Yes the graphics and scenery are nice, but that's not reason enough for me to play the game again. My enjoyment comes from beating the levels. Once I've beaten the game, I've seen everything so the excitement is gone. I should pace myself the next game I get. Kind of like getting a new book or magazine. Sometimes I read the whole magazine in one day which is a waste. I need to learn to devour the magazine in bits and pieces so I can have fresh reading material for a substantial amount of shits. I am one of those people that has to have something to read while taking a shit. If there arent' any magazines or books, I'll read the Glade air freshener can. "Glade neutralizer spray is blended with just the right amount of plant and herb extracts to effectively neutralize odors." Plop, that's comforting to know. I'll end this rambling post before I really make you sick.

Bankroll News

Howdy ya'll. I really should get into the habit of updating more often. If I have any readers left (besides Veneno and Fwalg) thanks for sticking around. I will try to update at least twice a week. Key word is try.

Well, I went broke on Royal Vegas the night after I scored in that 7-stud tourney. I was up to $50 and decided to take a gander at the bad beat jackpot tables. Wasn't planning on playing the bad beat tables unless they had something cheap. I notice a table with .50/1 stakes. Doesn't say NLHE, must be limit. I grab a seat and start playing. I fold my first few hands, no big deal. Then I get into a pot with someone and realize, hey, this isn't limit holdem. Fuck, this is no limit! Not the best game selection for my mini-me bankroll. I end up losing the pot and that brings me down to 30 bucks or so. I must've been really baked or Royal Vegas doesn't label their tables right. Probably the former rather than the latter. Fuck that! Time to recoup my losses. I decide to stay at the table until I win my 20 bucks back. This is the thinking that always dooms my bankroll. I hate, and I mean HATE leaving a table down money. I feel like a failure. So I tell myself, "Just stay until you get your losses back then you can leave. No harm no foul." Well, I didn't recoup my losses obviously. So I busted out of Royal Vegas. But I still had some outs. I had $10 no deposit bonus waiting for me at PokerTime.

So the next day I log onto PokerTime and lose the $10 in the matter of an hour or so. Damn that sucked. Now, I have zero dollars online to play poker with. Damn, that REALLY sucked. Later that night I decide to play a 1K freeroll with my action points on DoylesRoom. I take 14th place or something for $15. I am back in the real money play, woohoo! I know this sounds pathetic. But if you don't have any money online, winning $15 in a freeroll is like finding money on the ground when you are broke. It's not much, but it's more than you had before you won/found it. It at least gave me a chance to build it up to something meaningful playing small SNG's and cash games. I don't get anywhere doing that. Kept winning then losing, treading water for the most part. So I'm playing a $2 sng with $10 left on Doyles and chatting with Veneno. She offers to back me on Stars for $50. The agreement we settled on was I split half of my profits with her on a per game basis until I have paid her $100. If I bust she loses the backing money. So if I cash in a SNG, she gets half of the profits. If I play a cash game and I'm up when I leave the table, she gets half of the profits. This was working good but I ended up busting before I could reach the goal. I paid back $37.50 so she lost $12.50 on the deal. Not a bad loss, but not what I/she was hoping for.

Ok now what? I'm a broke ass poker player. Wait, what's that I hear? It's my buddy Jester. He owes me $50 and he has transfered it into my PokerStars account. Cue the Saturday Night Fever soundtrack, "Stayin alive, stayin alive." I play with that money for a couple days, trying to grind it up. But grinding is boring as fuck and I'm a gambooler at heart. So I log in the other night and I have $75 sitting in my Stars account. What shall I play. Don't really feel like grinding and I've been dying to play a $20 180 SNG. What the hell, I'll play one and if I lose I'll grind. I register for one and I'm ready to slay some fish. I forgot to bring my fishing pole and I bust out of that one. Fuck. Ok, I still don't feel like grinding. I'll play another one. I feel good and am playing well. I was sure to bring my pole and tackle box this time. I register for another one. I do goot in it. Really goot. I take third place for $428 bones. I cash out $200 and I'm back in bidness!!

Before that, I created a new Party account through a website that gives you $50 for free just for signing up. I had cancelled my old account because Party's customer service pissed me off. Everything goes through without a hitch so I have $50 on Party to play with now. Nice! Even though Party sucks balls, customer service wise, it is still free money. I do pretty well and build it up to just over $100. Fast foward to last night. I was playing strictly SNG's and MTT's on Party and Stars. Cue Buster Pointdexter "I'm feeling hot hot hot." I didn't score in any MTT's but I dominated the SNG scene. I won first twice in $30 sng's. I won first twice in $20 sng's (in one of them, I was down to 200 chips early). I got a second in a $50 sng. I cashed in a few others as well. In one of my $20 sng's, I was down to 70 chips with 7 left. I got involved in a hand and at the river I had Q high. It was a huge pot but I decided to fold and save my 70 chips because I KNEW I was beat. Why throw it away right? I was getting a billion to 1 pot odds but I didn't care. So I fold and type "lol" in the chat box. Whuddya know, I battle all the way back to take second place, hahaha. After all was said and done I made $500 profit last night.

The Poker Puffessor is back in the ballgame folks!